I am Not the Homeschool Mom I Was

No secret, I am a detail kinda gal...to the max. ;) But that has been changing - slowly, but it's changing. And that's a good thing. For me. In this season of life. It is so easy for me to lose the proverbial forest for those doggone trees. Sticking with that analogy, I am so busy making sure that my journey through the forest is "just right" that I tend to not see the beauty that is all around me. I am constantly checking the map so that I sometimes forget to enjoy the hike.

Well God is thankfully doing a work in me but old habits die hard. I like formulas (okay I love formulas) but He is constantly reminding me that life is about relationships. Relationships involve people. And people are not formulas. Life is more like a dance and I am trying to embrace that metaphor. Sometimes you dance fast and sometimes slow. At times you lead; at times you follow. The dance can even get messy at times when things are just not in sync. And if you've ever watched Dancing With the Stars you've seen that the dance can be fun...or wild...or romantic...or even silly. In formulas there is no room for messy, or fast and slow, or fun or wild or romantic or silly. There is just black and white - one right answer and a bunch of wrong ones.

How has this affected me in my homeschool endeavors? Well, first off I didn't make one of these this year. Now I am not saying that I will never again make a "Year at a Glance", but for me in this season of therapy it just wasn't a priority. I know myself well enough to know that when I get something down on paper like that, it just stresses me out to the max if I get a few days off here and there. Didn't I tell you that I am a little freaky about minutiae? :) Right now our priority is to get therapy done each day. Academics are still important but they are not center stage. Honestly I am looking very forward to a time when academics will be preeminent and I hope that time comes sooner rather than later. Still I am committed to completing the full course of this therapy, and so there is not a place for hyper-detailed plans this year.

I do have a plan about what I want to accomplish though. I know how many math lessons we need to complete each week and when we get behind what we need to do to catch up. The same with history, Spanish, spelling, reading and handwriting. But it's all in my head and not on paper. When it comes to school this year I don't have one single checklist...and the most exciting thing is I am okay with that. :)

Our story is therapy but it would be the same if we had a new baby in the house, were dealing with a major illness, if we had just moved across country or any other myriad of life changes that can derail the best laid plans for a productive homeschool year (as I define productive anyway!).

Another thing I've learned is that a simple lesson done is better than perfect lesson plans that never leave the paper (or become reality way later than need be) because I don't have all the details worked out: I haven't tracked down that exact book or researched this one aspect just enough. Right now some of you think I am kidding but sadly this has rung true more than once in our school. Others of you so completely get it, don't you?! Just admit it. You're as nutty as me, aren't ya? :)

The last thing I've learned is that I need to keep looking ahead and stop incessantly and unnecessarily looking back. And I'll blog more on that next time.

Curriculum Updated

Tonight I updated my sidebar to show our 2009-2010 curriculum choices for both Thatcher and Haddon. Have I even mentioned that I am now doing school with two of my sweet boys?

Thatcher's school load is light compared to other years because what is not listed is that we are also doing Neurodevelopmental Therapy (NDT) two to three hours each day. We began this therapy six months ago but I have been hesitant to post about it for a few reasons. First, I know that anytime you put something in cyberspace you are opening yourself up for all sorts of feedback - good or bad. This is a type of therapy (like many in the realm of Autism) that is mostly shunned by the official medical world as being completely unscientific. Case in point, our developmental pediatrician told me, "There is absolutely no medical/scientific evidence to support this type of therapy but only anecdotal evidence." Well, stories of changed lives are a powerful thing and this therapy has given us hope for not only dealing with the day to day symptoms we deal with but actually fixing the root causes. On the flip side, the medical community we have access to has not offered any treatment options other than a handful of prescriptions.

I feel I need to digress here and say that we still may be going that medication route in the near future as Thatcher's ADHD continues to rage out of control and the emotional manifestations grow more severe as well. But before we go there we want to feel that we have exhausted all other possibilities of correcting the root issues and not just putting a band-aid on the symptoms. That is why we did the gluten-free/casein-free (GFCF) diet last year for eight months as well. If there is a dietary cause, a bio-medical explanation or anything else...we want to address that first before jumping to medications.

The second reason I have been hesitant to post about our experience with NDT is that I am not yet willing to endorse it. This therapy takes from one-and-a-half to two years to see lasting results and we are not even half-way there. This therapy is inexpensive when compared to some others but it is still a big chunk of change. It is one thing for a mom to come to my blog and see a phonics book we're using and order it for $5.95 only to find two months later it's the wrong fit for her child. It's another to post a therapy that costs a great deal more both in time and money.

Well there it is...the post that has taken me six months to write.

Heeelllloooooo.....Anyone Still Out There??? :)

My unintentional blog hiatus started when I thought I would take a few weeks to finish preparing for and begin a new school year; I wanted to get the semester off to a good start without extraneous distractions. I pared down my schedule and my blog was a necessary casualty. Oops! A few weeks turned into two and a half months.

Some days I missed blogging like crazy and other days...well, not so much. Now that I have been blogging for more than two years, I have come to realize a few things. First, the shiny newness of the blog-o-sphere has finally worn off. Second, blogging is hard work. There are links to fix and pictures to update and emails to return. There are posts to write and then rewrite because you just can't find the right words for what you want to say. Heck, sometimes it's just getting a thought that you even want to write about in the first place. Lol!

Still I know that I need a place to "think out loud". I need a place that is mine all mine during this stage of life where not even a trip to the restroom is mine all mine ;) . I need a place to chronicle this crazy, wonderful, challenging journey called homeschooling.

My sweet dh calls homeschooling my "labor of love". It is a lot of hard work but I do love it. Blogging is another labor of love, too. And I'm looking forward to writing about what has been going on at Smooth Stones Academy.

Birthday Moments

Friendship is not necessary, like philosophy, like art....
It has no survival value; rather it is one of those
things that give value to survival.
~C.S. Lewis

My birthday was this past Sunday. Dh and I are not huge birthday celebrators in our home. Sure for the kids we do the cakes and the party but for us it's much more low-key - special time with the kids and a dinner out for the two of us if we can secure a sitter.

Well this year my sweet husband surprised me and invited all my closest girlfriends to my favorite wine bar/coffee house. Friends of ours volunteered to keep the kids; they were in on his little secret and knew we were having a hard time finding a sitter. Dh took me to a new restaurant I had been wanting to try, and then we walked around looking at the bay. Very casually he asked if I wanted to go to C... for dessert before we picked up the boys and I said, "Sure!"

I walked in to find many of my closest girlfriends waiting for me! It turns out he had sent out invitations and had been planning this for a few weeks. Dh took a few pictures and then left to go pick up our boys leaving me to spend some wonderful time with these special ladies. We talked for hours and laughed so hard I cried. And then we talked some more. And more. And more. It was so very needed!


I am very lucky to know all of you. Each of you blesses me in a very special way by your grace, your encouragement, your love for Christ and your sweet friendship. Thank you for making my birthday one I will always remember...even if it's not my 53rd! ;)

Background info: That afternoon Haddon was sad because he hadn't made me a card. I told him that the best part of a card was what it said inside so I pulled him into my lap and asked him to tell me what his card would have said. His response:

Dear Mommy,

You are a joy to have around. You are a great Mommy. I love you very much. Happy 53rd birthday!

Love,
Haddon

Hello Hill Country

I am in the amazing Texas Hill Country...and actually have been for the past week! The last few posts you've read were written several days prior and I simply scheduled them to publish after I was gone. I'll be back soon.

In addition to hiking, sitting on the porch and watching the hummingbirds whiz by, swimming in the beautiful Guadalupe River and so on, I am hoping to finish Volume 6 of Charlotte Mason's Home Education series as well as read Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson.

I am looking forward to coming back and seeing what you all have been up to as well.

Gospel-Centered Resources for Discipleship

There is something very exciting happening at many a local church. It started after Dr. Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian, gave a talk at the Gospel Coalition Conference (see abbreviated notes here) about what it looks like to have a truly gospel-centered ministry. Like ripples that flow through an entire pond when just one rock has been dropped in, this talk has begun to change how churches do what they do. And it's a good thing.

So many "Bible studies" and "Bible curriculum" for children are no more than morality teachings lightly dusted with Bible verses to make it palatable for a Christian crowd. You could find these exact teachings in any culture, in any religion, anywhere in the world; just change the details of the story a bit. David and Goliath is about having courage; Jonah is about obedience; Esther - bravery; Ruth - faithfulness; Abraham and Isaac - trust. Even when Bible stories haven't been watered down into a type of Biblical Aesop, the mark is still too often missed. Moses was a patriarch and the leader of God's people. John the Baptist wore clothes made of camel's hair and ate locusts and honey. Adam was the one who brought sin into the world. Is that really all these stories are about?

In Gospel-centered ministry the focus of every lesson is on Jesus. Period. It is all about Him; it is not about us. In Luke 24:7, 44-45 Jesus even showed how all Scripture pointed to Himself!

Is it true that David showed great courage when he faced Goliath. Absolutely! Did Ruth show sweet faithfulness to Naomi? Most certainly. Would Jonah have spared himself a lot of trouble if he had just been obedient? Yep. Do I want my children to exhibit these same characteristics in their own lives? Without a doubt. But the question becomes is that the real reason God wanted these stories in the Bible or are these things we often focus on secondary truths: supporting details but not the main idea?

Consider this from Dr. Keller:

Jesus is the true and better Adam who passed the test in the garden and whose obedience is imputed to us.

Jesus is the true and better Abel who, though innocently slain, has blood now that cries out, not for our condemnation, but for acquittal.

Jesus is the true and better Abraham who answered the call of God to leave all the comfortable and familiar and go out into the void not knowing wither he went to create a new people of God.

Jesus is the true and better Isaac who was not just offered up by his father on the mount but was truly sacrificed for us. And when God said to Abraham, "Now I know you love me because you did not withhold your son, your only son whom you love from me," now we can look at God taking his son up the mountain and sacrificing him and say, "Now we know that you love us because you did not withhold your son, your only son, whom you love from us."

Jesus is the true and better Jacob who wrestled and took the blow of justice we deserved, so we, like Jacob, only receive the wounds of grace to wake us up and discipline us.

Jesus is the true and better Joseph who, at the right hand of the king, forgives those who betrayed and sold him and uses his new power to save them.

Jesus is the true and better Moses who stands in the gap between the people and the Lord and who mediates a new covenant.

Jesus is the true and better Rock of Moses who, struck with the rod of God's justice, now gives us water in the desert.

Jesus is the true and better Job, the truly innocent sufferer, who then intercedes for and saves his stupid friends.

Jesus is the true and better David whose victory becomes his people's victory, though they never lifted a stone to accomplish it themselves.

Jesus is the true and better Esther who didn't just risk leaving an earthly palace but lost the ultimate and heavenly one, who didn't just risk his life, but gave his life to save his people.

Jesus is the true and better Jonah who was cast out into the storm so that we could be brought in.

Jesus is the real Rock of Moses, the real Passover Lamb, innocent, perfect, helpless, slain so the angel of death will pass over us. He's the true temple, the true prophet, the true priest, the true king, the true sacrifice, the true lamb, the true light, the true bread.

The Bible's really not about you – it's about him.

In researching what to use in the discipleship of our boys, we have kept in mind that we want to use resources that reflect a gospel-centered paradigm. In that vein, we've come across a great site that has provided for us tremendous support. It is the website for the childrens' ministry of Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, Kentucky called SojournKids! I love this post titled, "9 Reasons Not To "Ask Jesus Into Your Heart" and this one titled, "The Gospel and Children's Ministry". We will be using their Family Worship Guide as one of the key elements in our own family worship. The pdf is worth downloading if only to see the resources they have listed. They have truly gathered some of the best that is currently available for children and families - and they have them conveniently listed by the age for which they are appropriate.

Another gospel-centered resource we will be using is Sovereign Grace's new childrens' worship CD titled, To Be Like Jesus. At this site you can listen to samples of the songs and puchase the CD. And as of this past week, it is also available on iTunes! :) We have this CD in our vehicle and they boys love it! It highlights what we want for our children to be in character and virtue but it doesn't leave out the most important thing...Jesus! On a scale of 1 to 10 I would give this CD a 20! ;)

I hope some of these resources bless someone else in the way they have blessed us!

Book Review: Grace Based Parenting

I'll confess, I have read 20 books on parenting. No kidding. I have searched and searched for the right book to fix my kids. ;) What I didn't realize was that I was the one in need of being fixed! If you haven't read my post, "My Journey to Grace" you can read about why I say this there as well as more specifics about Grace-Based Parenting.

Thank you Mr. Kimmel for writing such a beautiful book. I am truly indebted to you as is my entire family. As I, by the power of Christ, become a grace-based person and therefore a grace-based parent, I am confident it will not only affect my boys but generations to come.

There are times when the best way to review a work is simply let it speak for itself. Here are just a few of my favorite passages from Grace-Based Parenting.

Grace-based parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. They live to know God more. Their children are the daily recipients of the grace these parents are enjoying form the Lord. If you watch them in action, they appear to be peaceful and very much in love with God. They are especially graceful when their children are hardest to love. Their advice to their children would be a mixture of:

• " You are a gift from God ; go make a difference."
  
• "You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes but you're forgiven." ~ p. 19

[If you operate from a standpoint of grace] Your children will be the daily recipients of the number one characteristic of God that has drawn people to Him since the Creation. ~p. 22

If God our heavenly Father is the perfect Father, and the primary way that He deals with us as humans is through the power of His grace, it stands to reason that grace forms the best template for bringing out the best in our own children. ~p. 28

The reason grace makes the most sense as a bottom line for parenting is because of grace's eternal appeal to the human heart. ~p. 29

Let's define what we mean by secure love. This is a steady and sure love that is written on the hard drive of children's souls. It's a complete love that they default to when their hearts are under attack. It's the kind of love that children can confidently carry with them into the future. ~p. 46

Grace can't be some abstract concept that you talk about in your home. It has to be a real-time action that ultimately imprints itself on your children's hearts. ~p. 140

They [children] need parents who remain calm, spend time on their knees, and maintain an open forum where their children can work through their faith out loud. ~ p. 186

Grace provides equilibrium for a family. Where too many parents are concerned with how others view their children, grace-based parents are more excited with how God views their children. Grace-based parents avoid the silly preoccupations with arbitrary standards devised by evangelical busybodies. They keep their eye on the bubble in the level, which is their children's character. To them, keeping their children balanced when it comes to their faith, integrity, poise, discipline, endurance and courage makes more sense than worrying about whether others thing their children look spiritual enough (whatever that means). They don't make it a crime for their children to be different, to be oddballs, or to boogie to a different drumbeat. In the process, they encourage their children to find the unique individual that God designed them to be through an intimate and authentic relationship with Christ...These families are overseen by shrewd mothers and fathers who see their children's fragile features as opportunities for God's power to shine through them. ~p. 212

Grace-based parenting is not a checklist for parenting; it's a lifestyle. It's a clear attempt to retrofit your minds to respond to your children in the same way God responds to you. ~p. 213

The grace-based home assumes kids will struggle with sin and helps them learn how to tap into God's power to help them get stronger...When their children do sin, grace-based parents don't get surprised. They expect it. They assume sin is an ongoing dilemma that their children must constantly contend with. ~p. 216

I can't wait to read this book again...and again...and again!